Back from Bama

Over all it was a great trip for the family.  A change of scenery for my wife and a ton of fresh air for our daughter.  For me, an emotional roller coaster with more twists and turns than the back country roads.  The car ride down was great.  Despite the ridiculous back pain that made me stop every two hours.  Not a whole lot of scenery, that's for damn sure.  We arrived in time for the sunset that bled through the deep woods surrounding Kitty's house.  The air was warm and still rich from the summer flowers.  The setting was wonderful and seeing Aunt Kitty smiling at her door as we pulled in was enough to light up our faces.

The house my Dad was born in.

As I expected, she bear hugged us all until we saw stars.  It was good to be back in Bama.  Our daughter usually takes a few hours sometimes to warm up to a new face.  It only took a split second to know that she was in the company of someone who loves her as if she was there from the start.  Before I could get the car unpacked, Kitty was playing blocks and Candy Land at the kitchen table.  It was amazing to see the two ends of life sharing the same moment with complete happiness.  As the games came to an end we decided to call it a night and turn in.

The next morning was the same as any morning in Kitty's house.  "Good mornings" were delivered with smiles and breakfast was sizzling on the stove.  We ate and began to plan out our day in the south.  Amber and I knew that we need to get little D outside to burn off the crazy amount of energy pent up from the drive down, so that was our first mission.  Three dogs with as much life as Danica came blazing through the back yard to greet us.  It was a little scary for D but with three Boxers at home it didn't take long to make friends.  Before long they were giggling and barking all over the place!  It was a blast.  I thought I would throw my daughter head first in to the great outdoors with a ride on a John Deer Gator through the woods.  We drove up an old logging road, past the tree that my grandparents use to park my father and three daughters under while they worked the fields and fed the farm animals.  With evidence of life all around, Danica was taking it all in as the southern breeze flowed through her hair.  Deer tracks and red clay mixed with ribbons of iron covered the terrain.  We took in as much as we could, then headed back to the house.

The smell of Thanksgiving dinner made everyone feel at home as we walked through the door.  My Aunt Kitty can lay out a spread that would put all other meals to shame.  We ate more than we could hold, and then went back out to explore the other aspects of a new world for a three year old.

Later that night, after we all wound down is when the absence of Bruce took hold of me.  The silence was the greatest reminder of all.  Bruce always filled those gaps in conversation with something off the wall and delightful.  So, I took a chance and asked my Aunt Kitty what Uncle Bruce was like in his prime.  Kitty smiled and closed her eyes for a minute.  I could feel the happiness flood her mind as she thought about her husband when the two were young.  Bruce was a hard working man.  This much I already knew.  He also loved his wife more than anything else in the world.  To Kitty, he was a strong and determined man.  Sometimes he could get hard headed and downright mean when he was frustrated with something.  (Amber would say the same of me at times.)  But Bruce always put his wife and her needs first and foremost, all of the time.  Anything Kitty would want or need, Bruce would find a way to deliver.

It seemed as though a light switch were turned off halfway through our conversation.  Kitty's face grew dim and her voice lowered.  She began to talk about the night Bruce died.  She began to weep.  His death was still too much for her and I reassured her that we didn't need to talk any more about it, but she went on.  The same way a photographer captures an image or a poet defines an emotion, Kitty told me how Bruce died.  I cried with her that night.  My tears did not seem worthy of her presence.  I almost felt foolish that I was sharing this kind of pain with her.  We held each other as we thought about his impact on out lives.  Then she told me that he always thought so much of my brother and I.  He considered us his family, his own children.  I was speechless.

Bruce's Ford 100

The next morning Kitty asked me if I would do her a favor by starting up Bruce's old Ford and take her for a ride.  This is the same pick up that he drove me and my little brother around in while we were down south for summers.  My brother Will, loved this truck and everything about our Uncle Bruce.  So, Bruce gave it to my brother.  With no place to keep it up north, Will was forced to keep it in Alabama.  Every time he comes down he puts some miles on it.  With Will up north, there was only one other person to fulfill Kitty's request.  I gladly agreed and with a little love and patience got that old Ford started and loaded everyone up for a drive.  First stop, the cemetery.  It is only three or four miles away so I didn't have much time to prepare myself.  Kitty and I got out and walked over to Bruce's headstone.  My Aunt immediately held me close and began to tell me how hard it still is to visit him at his grave.

When we arrived back at the house, Kitty started preparing lunch as Amber and I took D outside for another adventure through the woods.  The rest of the evening was nice, peaceful and relaxing.  When it was time for Danica to go to sleep, Kitty picked her up onto her lap and held her.  I could see the pain still embedded in my Aunt's eyes, there was something else too.  She held my daughter as if she was her own flesh and blood.  Kitty knew it was our last night in Bama.  She soothed Danica, and told her that "it would all be okay".  I think she may have been telling herself that at the same time.

I didn't sleep well that night.  Feeling all of those emotions in one day and knowing that I was leaving in the morning was too much to sleep on.

Biscuits and sausage gave us all enough fuel to get moving in the morning.  Our embraces were not the same as when we arrived.  They were weighed down with sadness and an unwillingness to depart.  Our time together was coming to an end and neither one of us knew when we might see each other again.  Like every visit, it is always hard to leave, but I know I'll be back again soon.  I will have new member of the family to introduce to Aunt Kitty.  This is what I look forward to as I head back home.