Kwanzaa Kitty

Last night I was walking out the door with my dogs for a walk.  I step out and there is a strange looking cat that I have never seen before, sitting on my door mat.  So instead of my 3 boxers tearing it to pieces, I stomped next to the cat to get it to leave.  After it was gone, our walk was rather uneventful.  I watched a flick and fell asleep.

Then today, the fam wakes up, dogs go for a walk, breakfast, shopping blah blah blah.  After getting all the groceries inside I go back out to close the trunk and that damn cat is sitting in my driveway.  I went in and got the wife because she's a sucker for a furry animal (in more ways than one), so she sees it and immediately feels the urge to feed it.  I suggested plenty of other activities we could partake in, such as, Knitting or slamming our faces together and see who's tougher.  She insisted that it was hungry and went back out to deliver some food and water.  "Where's the kitty?  I can hear it but I don't see it."

The shitty kitty climbed into the engine compartment of her Blazer!  I slammed the doors, honked the horn and even tried rocking the damn thing but that cat wouldn't budge. Finally I opened the hood and found it hiding under the idler pulley.  In my best little girls voice I got that sucker to come out and snatched it up.  Then, much like the Grinch, my heart grew 3 sizes as it buried its head in the crook of my arm and began trembling.  "Ah hell!  Amber, go lock the dogs up, this cat needs to get warm."

Amber, with a need to name every animal she encounters, dubs thee, Kwanzaa Kitty. We had nothing that would resemble cat food in the house so I cut up a cold hot dog and Amber fed Kwanzy in the bathroom.  Turns out none of the organizations that are suppose to handle this situation worked the day after Christmas.  Animal Control wanted me to keep the cat until they called me the next day.  I said that I had 3 dogs who would Houdini that pussy in a heart beat and that an over-nighter was not an option.  You know what that cold hearted bitch said?  "Well you're going to have to put it back outside then."  Getting frustrated, I paused and chose my words carefully, sweet talking my way into another option.  She told me that I could take it to the P.D. and they would hold it until the next day.  SOUNDS A WHOLE LOT BETTER THAN LEAVING THE POOR CAT OUTSIDE IN FREEZING TEMPERATURES!

I wrapped up Kwanzy and set her down shotgun in the truck and started the engine.  Then the unexpected happened.  Kwanzy climbs up on to my lap and puts both paws on the steering wheel.  When I asked if it knew where the Police Dept. was, it hopped down and curled up for the duration.

So, Kwanzaa Kitty is in the slammer for the night.  Booked on driving without a license and attempted murder.  I honestly hope someone is looking for this cat.  It was pretty rad for a feline.  I might even miss the little fucker.